Living in NYC, there are many opportunities to interact with celebrities.   However, one of the reasons John Lennon loved it here is that, for the most part, his privacy was respected.   

I stood on line behind Kevin Bacon at my Starbucks.   I could feel my father desperately channelling through me an urge to engage him in conversation.   Although I inherited my dad’s ”gift of the gab,” I could not utter this joke forming in my mind.  “So, this is what they mean by six degrees of separation?”   If only I had remembered at that moment that his wife Kyra had breastfed.   Given my penchant for marketing at Starbucks , who knows what I might have been able to say. 

All kidding aside,  I have found that there is less than 6 degrees of  separation for breastfeeding success.  

• Your mother, partner, a sibling or close friend, doctor (pediatrician or obstetrician), lactation specialist can all impact your choices and the trajectory of your experience. 

Six Degrees of Separation For BF Success

One of the most important considerations is surrounding yourself with positive breastfeeding role models and enthusiasts.   Given the barrage of hormones, any lack of support, whether real or imagined, can shake your confidence.  Those who love you do not want to see you exhausted and overwhelmed.  They may try to relieve you by offering to give a bottle or encourage you to consider an exit strategy. 

Breastfeeding is natural, but it is also a learned skill for both mother and baby.   Tensions can build when couples are not on the same page about this essential aspect of caring for their newborn.  Attend a breastfeeding class together if at all possible.   Remember that coaching does not end after labor.  

Many of you will defer to the “authority figures” such as the doctor and lactation consultant.  

1. No Pediatrician will hang out a shingle saying they are opposed to breastfeeding.  However, early supplementation with formula is a big clue about their knowledge and support of breastfeeding. 
2. A survey of Pediatricians published in late 2008 verifies that their promotion of breastfeeding is down.
3. Lactation consultants that rely too heavily upon gadgets and pumping may further overwhelm a mother. 
4. Check out your local parenting boards and read them carefully.  Look for someone who has the clinical expertise to fix your latch rather than manage your pumping.
5. Ask your friends to  honestly share their breastfeeding experience and judge if you want some of the same.
6. Follow me on twitter or become a member of  The Breastfeeding Salon

We live in an interesting period of human history where popularity and affiliation are highly valued.   With some preparation you can assemble your dream team of breastfeeding support within six degrees of separation.

Murphy’s Law : If Something Can Go Wrong. It Will.

Turns out that I am an actual descendant of said Murphy.  Kathleen Clements nee Murphy was my maternal grandmother.  It is true that she had her share of hard knocks being widowed in her mid-thirties.  She had nine children ranging in age from 12 down to 9 months at the time of my grandfather’s fatal car crash on the winding roads of the Wicklow mountains.  Nonetheless, she lived a full life and saw all of her children grow-up to adulthood.  I would like to think that my optimistic spirit is part of her legacy.

Throughout the past 30 years actively working as a Maternal-Child Health Nurse and Lactation Consultant, this feeling of optimism has at times been difficult to maintain.  Being a passionate advocate of breastfeeding has been frustrating.  Often I feel like a salmon swimming upstream against the current of bad advice and token support.

Breastfeeding in the modern era has always had its challenges.  Much like childbirth, yet another natural process of the female body has fallen victim to a medical model which at its core assumes intervention will be needed.  Mothers are confronted with an over-reliance on gadgets, weights and measures and liberal supplementation with formula served up as breastfeeding support.

Anyone who knows me, reads this blog or my articles is very aware of my dismay at this medicalization of breastfeeding.  I am constantly reminded about this sad state of affairs when I teach my prenatal classes and survey the expectant mothers.  It is shocking that the majority know someone, with less than six degrees of separation, who has had a difficult breastfeeding experience.  As a result, these mothers-to-be are tentative and will say “I will try” or “If it works” when they discuss their own breastfeeding goals.  In essence, they are starting with an expectation of failure…Murphy’s Law.

Conscious Breastfeeding is your tool to outwit dear old Murphy.  Your breastfeeding is not a science project nor is it an illness.  It is a natural extension of your pregnancy meant to sustain your baby through its continued growth and development outside of your body.  

You need to be Conscious…put your focus on optimizing your breastfeeding connection.  Get help with the latch. It is skill and a teachable moment for you and your baby.  Don’t be fooled into thinking that your baby can do it without your help.  A baby and a pump are not the same.  When in doubt your baby always trumps the pump when you have a great latch.

By focusing on the fundamentals and keeping things as simple as possible you can replace a fear of failure with a sense of accomplishment.  Replace Murphy’s Law with the positive Universal Laws which see you in all of your glory as… a Conscious Breastfeeding mom.