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One of the most valuable concepts of Eastern philosophy is found in the Japanese word Nyuanshin which is commonly translated as “beginner’s mind”.  I stumbled upon an amazing post which draws upon this concept… The Inner Art of Airmanship…Master of the Wing , Yet Always a Beginner.

While reading this article I suddenly remembered a fun incident that I had shared many years ago with my youngest brother Stephen who flies silver jets…or so says his email handle.  To be more exact he is now a major in the Air Force Reserves currently on leave from being a pilot for American Airlines.

When he was in the final stages of getting his wings, Stephen had arranged for all 4 of us siblings and the parents to have a go with him in the cockpit simulator used to train pilots.  Sitting there with him and faced with a dashboard of complex and unfamiliar knobs and gauges was exciting, but daunting.  I was immediately overcome with admiration for him to have been able to master such complexity.  On another level, my desire to show how smart I was and to be better than all the other newbies in the family got in my way as I tried to follow his instructions in this unfamiliar space. I became filled with fear being asked to “pilot” this imaginary vehicle.   Although, I was quite comfortable with the technology specific to a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, this was beyond my scope of knowledge and expertise.  I felt like a fish out of water.

So… to no one’s great surprise… I crashed the plane and didn’t even realize it until he exclaimed…gee…you’ve just  cost Uncle Sam millions.

We both had a good laugh!

My misadventures in the cockpit could be a metaphor for the way a new mother may feel when she starts breastfeeding, a bit vulnerable and out of her element.  Although she has lived in her skin for some time, she has not ever had to rely on her body and specifically her breasts in this way.  She knows that breastfeeding is natural and has most likely heard that it has a learning curve.  She may do a fair bit of reading, take classes and/or check in with her family and peers to get prepared.  She may expect that it will be easy, or not, depending upon the input she has had in advance of beginning her breastfeeding experience.

It seems to me that the Zen concept of Beginners Mind is particularly suited to a new mother.  It requires that she leave behind some of her preconceived notions and be open and receptive to learning, both in mind and body, the fundamentals of mother-led Conscious Breastfeeding.

Unfortunately, many mothers experience pain or may even be unable to get a good latch because they believe it should be left up to their baby or worse yet, a pump.

As in flying planes or practicing martial arts, breastfeeding requires attention be paid to the details of a learning a specific physical skill…in this case, the latch.  By “just doing” the specific steps that enhance the latch connection an optimized breastfeeding journey becomes possible.

A muscle memory of the latch will develop for both the mother and her baby; it is acquired after some practice and the rate of learning is different from one individual to another.

Coordination of this latch-on technique can at first seem difficult.  Through continuous repetition of the basics, a dynamic will develop for a Conscious Breastfeeding mom… where she is no longer needing to make constant corrections, but will still remain alert for any changes that could develop bad habits or set backs that might unfavorably alter her enjoyment of breastfeeding.

As a new mother you need to be patient, diligent and forgive yourself for being a beginner.

By embracing your beginners mind, you will own the experience.  Do the learning.  Walk the path.   And you, the student/mother will ultimately become the teacher for your baby of this way of Conscious Breastfeeding and many other life lessons.

Frida Kahlo was born on this day, 103 years ago, into the patriarchal society of early 20′th century Mexico.  A revolutionary in so many ways, she created an enduring brand of her image that greeted me today on my Google home page.

A  lifetime of painful experiences, including contracting polio, a near fatal bus accident, a tumultuous marriage and infidelities, multiple miscarriages, served as the inspiration for her paintings.  She continually pushed the envelope of social convention as she struggled to find her identity and come to terms with what it meant to be a Mexican woman.  

One of her more powerful paintings, ‘My Nurse and I’ gives us an idea of how this journey began for Frida.

Frida’s mother fell into a postpartum depression in the months following her birth and handed her over to a nanny.  There are reports that her wet nurse was drinking and offered little nurturing and care to her as an infant.  This lack of bonding is thought to have been the impetus for her perpetual attempts at giving birth to and mothering herself through her art.  

There are many layers to this painting.   The masked nurse hints at a shameful and victimized version of the Mexican mother, La Malinche.   Seemingly abandoned by her own mother, she was left to nurture her own development to adulthood.  On a more positive note, she connects to her Mexican homeland and indigenous culture symbolically through this act of breastfeeding.

As a breastfeeding advocate, I find it disturbing to see this impersonal depiction of what should be a primal bonding experience between a mother and her child or between a loving mother surrogate, wet nurse, and child. 

Frida Kahlo shared with us in this painting what she perceived to be the lack of the milk of human kindness that was offered to her while she was at the breast.  Although this had left a bad taste in her mouth, she still portrayed breastfeeding as the cultural norm for her time.

What feelings does this painting evoke in you?

Survivor is a popular television program here in the States that has run for 16 seasons.  It’s motto is outwit, outplay, outlast and be the ultimate survivor.  The season finale is today, Mother’s Day.  It has been quite fascinating to watch as the final four women used a great deal of cunning and collaborated to eliminate all of their stronger male challengers. 

Watching Survivor made me wonder…

What if the contestants were all nursing moms, babies and their partners?  What would they do without pumps, bottles, nipple shields, supplemental nursing systems and weighing scales?  Would they survive?  How would they know what their baby’s percentile was out there in the wilderness?  Would bottles of formula drop out of the trees along with the coconuts? 

You might recall a news item from a few years back about an African mother  caught in a flood who sought refuge, labored and delivered her baby in a tree.  Although not ideal, birth and breastfeeding began there before she was rescued by the South African military.

Breastfeeding may be natural, but it is definitely a learned behavior.  Peer pressure, combined with token support, leaves many mothers vulnerable to advice and interventions which can destroy their confidence.  Doubts about their milk supply and a sense of being overwhelmed by the work load may cause them to waiver in their desire to continue breastfeeding.

Modern mothers need to outwit, outplay and and outlast the pseudo-science which has been embraced by the medical and lactation establishment and the ubiquitous and clever marketing of formula by the drug companies.  

You should not have to “survive” breastfeeding.  When in doubt, reflect upon what you would do were you on a desert island?  Get back to the basics.

On this Mother’s Day celebrate the power and mystery of your female body which enables you to nurture your baby in the womb and beyond through Conscious Breastfeeding.