I stood on line behind Kevin Bacon at my Starbucks.   I could feel my father desperately channelling through me an urge to engage him in conversation.   Although I inherited my dad’s ”gift of the gab,” I could not utter this joke forming in my mind.  “So, this is what they mean by six degrees of separation?”   If only I had remembered at that moment that his wife Kyra had breastfed.   Given my penchant for marketing at Starbucks , who knows what I might have been able to say. 

All kidding aside,  I have found that there is less than 6 degrees of  separation for breastfeeding success.  

• Your mother, partner, a sibling or close friend, doctor (pediatrician or obstetrician), lactation specialist can all impact your choices and the trajectory of your experience. 

Six Degrees of Separation For BF Success

One of the most important considerations is surrounding yourself with positive breastfeeding role models and enthusiasts.   Given the barrage of hormones, any lack of support, whether real or imagined, can shake your confidence.  Those who love you do not want to see you exhausted and overwhelmed.  They may try to relieve you by offering to give a bottle or encourage you to consider an exit strategy. 

Breastfeeding is natural, but it is also a learned skill for both mother and baby.   Tensions can build when couples are not on the same page about this essential aspect of caring for their newborn.  Attend a breastfeeding class together if at all possible.   Remember that coaching does not end after labor.  

Many of you will defer to the “authority figures” such as the doctor and lactation consultant.  

1. No Pediatrician will hang out a shingle saying they are opposed to breastfeeding.  However, early supplementation with formula is a big clue about their knowledge and support of breastfeeding. 
2. A survey of Pediatricians published in late 2008 verifies that their promotion of breastfeeding is down.
3. Lactation consultants that rely too heavily upon gadgets and pumping may further overwhelm a mother. 
4. Check out your local parenting boards and read them carefully.  Look for someone who has the clinical expertise to fix your latch rather than manage your pumping.
5. Ask your friends to  honestly share their breastfeeding experience and judge if you want some of the same.
6. Follow me on twitter or become a member of  The Breastfeeding Salon

We live in an interesting period of human history where popularity and affiliation are highly valued.   With some preparation you can assemble your dream team of breastfeeding support within six degrees of separation.

Retro is a prefix from the Latin meaning backwards.  Retro, in the common vernacular, refers to the way things were.  Be it a noun, adjective or adverb it describes something from the past. 

For purposes of this post I am drawing on an expanded definition found in Wikipedia, ”a term used to describe, denote or classify culturally outdated or aged trends, modes, or fashions, from the overall postmodern past, but have since that time become functionally or superficially the norm once again.”

Breastfeeding has been around since the dawn of time.  It is the way human babies were meant to be nurtured after birth.  Nonetheless, it fell out of fashion in the 20′th century. 

You could say that the first wave of Retro breastfeeding began with La Leche League in the late 1950’s.  Against much resistance, mothers banded together to support one another and breastfeed their babies.  They were viewed as reactionaries as they seemed opposed to the progress offered by the medical model of birth and childrearing that relied on the drugs and formulas of big Pharma.  Going back to the “basics” was their call to action.

In 1985, the inception of the allied health profession of Lactation Consulting, born out of  La Leche League roots,  fanned the flames of that Retro breastfeeding comeback.  The job of the IBCLC’s (International Board Certified Lactation Consultants) was cut out for them.  In those days, breastfeeding meant timed feedings and supplementation with water or formula.  Those consultants entered in to the fray and began working to change the standards of practice in Western hospitals.  They set out to educate and support women so that breastfeeding would be the rule rather than the exception.   At first there was resistance from some in the medical community who were accustomed to managing infant feeding by manipulating formula intake.   Gradually it became politically incorrect to advocate against breastfeeding.

As we approach the 25′th Anniversary of Lactation Consulting as a profession we are entering yet another wave of Retro breastfeeding.  However, this one merely pays lip service to what began in La Leche and the early days of lactation consulting.   It is a weird amalgam of dogma and old practices, that fundamentally do not support breastfeeding,  blended with touches of tech and pseudo-science.

What is most ridiculous and ironic is that this latest version of Retro breastfeeding can be traced to the the practice of many lactation consultants. Those that have begun to rely too heavily on managing pumps and gadgets and less on the art and skill of breastfeeding have changed the focus from breastfeeding to human milk feeding.

Give me the music any day, but spare me this techno version of breastfeeding from the 1970’s!

It is doubtful that many cows will be waltzing in for a blessing, but you never know.

In India, no thanks to St. Francis, cows are sacred…

It makes me remember a funny incident that happened to me two decades ago when I was the first lactation consultant in a major hospital here in New York City.  On the lapel of my lab coat I wore a button that I had bought to support the Florida Lactation Consultant Association.   It was simple and powerful…or so I thought.

This button depicted a cow with a big red slash through it.  The International Symbol for a warning not to do something.  Travelling up to the maternity floor one afternoon a fellow passenger queried me on my button.   Shockingly, it was not the comment/question I had been expecting.  “Don’t kill the cows…are you Hindu? ” was what he asked.  I laughed and pointed out that my freckles were not Bindis and that the purpose of the button was to spark a conversation about breastfeeding.  He got off the lift to go see his wife and child and I went back to work.

A few days later, I was called into the office of the Director of Maternal Child Health and told to stop wearing my button.  I was shocked, but refrained from going ballistic at that moment.  I asked meekly why she was giving this directive to me.  Her answer was incredible.  She told me that, “by wearing this button you are offending formula feeding families.”

I would not be long for that job as the “Powers to Be” in that hospital did not truly support breastfeeding mothers.  As I began my resignation letter in my head, I told her what was the true intention of my wearing that button.  It was simply to open up a light-hearted dialogue about species specific milk…Cows milk for calves and human milk for human babies.

Here in the Western world,  cows are valued merely as a source food.   These cows are often horribly mistreated in an effort to maximize their production of milk and meat for consumption by humans.  Ironically, there are growing numbers who question whether the consumption of a cow’s milk is a valid option to promote human health.

Fast forward twenty years to 2008.  PETA, people for the ethical treatment of animals, continues its crusade to protect animals a la St. Francis.   Recently in their blog, The PETA Files, attention was focused on cows when they spoke of a letter they had sent to Ben and Jerry’s, a major maker of ice cream, asking them to substitue human milk for cow milk in the production of their ice creams.

All of this made me wonder…

Breastfeeding has all of us Breastfeeding Advocates and Lactivists.

Would Breastfeeding fair better if it also had a Patron Saint?

Turns out that I am an actual descendant of said Murphy.  Kathleen Clements nee Murphy was my maternal grandmother.  It is true that she had her share of hard knocks being widowed in her mid-thirties.  She had nine children ranging in age from 12 down to 9 months at the time of my grandfather’s fatal car crash on the winding roads of the Wicklow mountains.  Nonetheless, she lived a full life and saw all of her children grow-up to adulthood.  I would like to think that my optimistic spirit is part of her legacy.

Throughout the past 30 years actively working as a Maternal-Child Health Nurse and Lactation Consultant, this feeling of optimism has at times been difficult to maintain.  Being a passionate advocate of breastfeeding has been frustrating.  Often I feel like a salmon swimming upstream against the current of bad advice and token support.

Breastfeeding in the modern era has always had its challenges.  Much like childbirth, yet another natural process of the female body has fallen victim to a medical model which at its core assumes intervention will be needed.  Mothers are confronted with an over-reliance on gadgets, weights and measures and liberal supplementation with formula served up as breastfeeding support.

Anyone who knows me, reads this blog or my articles is very aware of my dismay at this medicalization of breastfeeding.  I am constantly reminded about this sad state of affairs when I teach my prenatal classes and survey the expectant mothers.  It is shocking that the majority know someone, with less than six degrees of separation, who has had a difficult breastfeeding experience.  As a result, these mothers-to-be are tentative and will say “I will try” or “If it works” when they discuss their own breastfeeding goals.  In essence, they are starting with an expectation of failure…Murphy’s Law.

Conscious Breastfeeding is your tool to outwit dear old Murphy.  Your breastfeeding is not a science project nor is it an illness.  It is a natural extension of your pregnancy meant to sustain your baby through its continued growth and development outside of your body.  

You need to be Conscious…put your focus on optimizing your breastfeeding connection.  Get help with the latch. It is skill and a teachable moment for you and your baby.  Don’t be fooled into thinking that your baby can do it without your help.  A baby and a pump are not the same.  When in doubt your baby always trumps the pump when you have a great latch.

By focusing on the fundamentals and keeping things as simple as possible you can replace a fear of failure with a sense of accomplishment.  Replace Murphy’s Law with the positive Universal Laws which see you in all of your glory as… a Conscious Breastfeeding mom.