The Breastfeeding Rebellion: A Step Back For Womankind
It never fails. Every year as we near World Breastfeeding Week, 1-7 August, articles come out on the subject of breastfeeding intended to stir up emotions and debate among mothers. True to form, The Guardian has just published an article by Viv Groskop, “Let the Breastfeeding Rebellion Begin“. It catalogs, yet again, the controversy that surrounds breastfeeding in the 21’st Century.
Although at first glance it appears to be an even handed examination of the issues, the overall tone leans toward the negative. As local and national health groups gear up to promote breastfeeding, this article calls into question whether these efforts may be foolhardy and be putting too much pressure on mothers.
I have been in the trenches throughout the period in question and have observed the same issues raised in this article. I will outline what Ms. Groskop deems to be the “Breastfeeding Rebellion”. In a followup post, I will take these points and put them into a more positive light, calling for a “Breastfeeding Revolution.”
Mothers are struggling with breastfeeding and abandoning it.
The article starts with the story of a mother, Sarah Butters who apparently admitted to the author that she hates breastfeeding. “As a mother you feel you should be able to feed your child and I just couldn’t do it.”
Ms. Groskop, tells us how this mother Sarah, after 6 days of trying and failing, went to bottle-feeding and five years on, still harbors resentment about having to make that choice. She adds that there is an increasing chorous of mothers in the blogosphere who share similar feelings of guilt and/or resentment about their breastfeeding experiences. So it is not surprising that “Despite concerted efforts, only one in 5 mothers in the UK are breastfeeding at 6 months.”
Breastfeeding promotion puts too much pressure on women and may be counterproductive.
It is obvious from the statistics that breastfeeding promotion efforts haven’t made much of a dent in the numbers. She cites a few examples of academics looking at this issue in the UK and the States.
-Dr. Michele Crossly, a psychologist from the University of Manchester apparently found “far from being an ‘empowering’ act, breastfeeding may have become more of a ‘normalised’ moral imperative that many women experience as anything but liberational”.
-Sue Attersby, a researcher and lecturer in Midwifery at Aston Uiversity says, “We need to support women who use formula. Mothers who formula-feed are treated like second class citizens.”
Ms. Groskop adds, that “even breastfeeding promoters are concerned about the guilt and bad feelings being reported by increasing numbers of moms about their breastfeeding experiences”.
-Pam Lacey, chair of The Association of Breastfeeding Mothers, said …”It’s the system that has failed them by failing to support them.”
Breastfeeding has become a war and is tied to what it means to be a good mother.
Lumped in this section are several snippets that speak to the notion of maternal identity, feminism and polarization of women around their experiences of breastfeeding.
-A British academic researching breastfeeding and maternal identity feared a backlash from those in the pro-breastfeeding lobby and anonymously commented, “Breastfeeding has become so strongly tied to what it means to be a good mother. There is no space to say, ‘It didn’t work for me’.”
-Hannah Rosin’s inflammatory article, “The Case Against Breastfeeding” is held up as an example of a huge backlash in the US against the breastfeeding lobby. Ms. Groskop tells us, “this debate is polarizing into the “lactofanatics” vs. the “formula apologists.”
Stigma and guilt can be common for women whether they breastfeed or not .
According to Ms. Groskop, ”Both here and in the US very few mothers are entirely comfortable about their breastfeeding decisions and many admit they wish they didn’t have to do it. Some see the promotion of breastfeeding as part of the problem.”
She elaborates on this theme by sharing her thoughts on the recently released 20′th Anniversary edition of the book by Gabrielle Palmer, “The Politics of Breastfeeding”. It is hard to miss her bias when she writes about this book that examines breastfeeding in a bottle-feeding world:
“Dubbed “the Freakonomics of motherhood”, the book demands that the advertising of formula milk be banned, calls for breast milk to be given an award for the fewest food miles, and praises women for producing “the most ecological food product in the world”. So now not only is breastfeeding nutritionally correct, it’s also environmentally ethical.”
Ms. Groskop does acknowledge that breastfeeding advocates are adamant that promotion is needed ” because the rates are poor.”
-Mary Renfrew, professor of mother and infant health at the University of York, describes the health benefits of breastfeeding as being equivalent to “a very powerful broad-spectrum drug”.
Lest that engender guilt, we are yet again treated to more from Ms. Rosin’s article:
“The difficulty with the health argument, though, is that it lays women open to the charge of selfishness if they don’t breastfeed. Which, argues Rosin, is demeaning. “In Betty Friedan’s day, feminists felt shackled to domesticity by the unreasonably high bar for housework.” In the 21st century, it is not the vacuum cleaner keeping us down, Rosin adds, “but another sucking sound”.
It is very telling that this article closed with this quote from of a report on mothers who use formula by Dr Ellie Lee, a sociologist at Kent University:
“There is no one who would not concede that breast milk is good for babies. But the body that provides the milk is connected to a whole set of social relationships.”
“When it doesn’t work, women take it so personally. They will say, ‘My baby hates me’. It’s such a destructive thing to do to mothers. And I think the pressure is getting worse.”
Houston, we have a problem. We have just celebrated the 40′th Anniversary of the first walk on the moon, “One small step for man, one giant step for mankind.” Yet, in 50+ years, we have not been able to figure out how to help women breastfeed without angst.
To be continued…
July 21, 2009 1 Comment
Dad Walking On Egg Shells
Had an interesting call this week from a dad. He wondered what were the chances of relactating at 7 weeks?
And no, before you go there, it wasn’t a crank trying to get a rise out of this passionate lactation advocate. This call was legitimate. He was a friend of a father in my practice who had encouraged him to reach out to me across state lines to sort out his dilemma.
He called me to suss out the situation and shared a very sad, but typical scenario. His wife, had been buffeted on the seas of lactation support with inconsistent advice, emphasis on pumping and after two weeks was summarily dismissed and told to bottle-feed. For approximately 6 weeks now his son has been bottle-fed formula.
In general, I always prefer to speak directly with the mother. However, his voicemail touched a heart string as he confessed that he was calling without having yet broached this subject with his wife. He was genuinely concerned and felt badly that they were missing out on breastfeeding because of the questionable support and consultation they had received in the early weeks.
The reason for the abrupt weaning was the usual ”Not Enough Milk”. This was determined, of course, by his wife’s inability to pump enough to bottle-feed after the delivery. More bottles and pumping led to formula and weaning. The reason it was bothering him so much was that he noticed her leaking tons of milk a few days ago. He didn’t understand why she didn’t just offer the breast to their son as clearly there was milk.
This dad was walking on egg shells. He was the support team during the initial battles and was now fearful of incurring her wrath by bringing up the notion of trying it again.
I can empathize. I’m often called in for these kind of situations and find the solution is not as simple as merely choosing between offering the breast or a bottle filled with human milk or formula. The weeks of reinforcing a behavior other than breastfeeding and living a bottle-feeding lifestyle with their new baby could make the transition difficult on many levels.
I complimented this dad on his thoughtful and loving inquiry. My suggestions were simple:
1. He could now share honestly some of his impressions about that stressful time with his wife. Sharing empathy without the stress and pressure biting at their heels.
2. He could share some of his conversation with his friend that led him to call me. It would be helpful to emphasize that these situations are usually not truly black and white, but rather if she were empowered and given consistent support much would be possible.
3. He could gently suggest that she offer their son the breast without worrying now if she had enough. Without pressuring her, he could point out it would be a shame if what she was still producing for their son would ultimately go to waste.
4. He could share what he intuitively knew, and I corroborated, that milk supply is not increased by the pump, but rather by the baby breastfeeding. Any amount of breastfeeding would greatly increase the odds of them being able to shift the balance of feeds away from the bottle and back to the breast.
5. He could continue to offer his love and support reassuring her that it was ultimately her decision. Sometimes knowing that it is a real team effort can make these transitions seem more possible.
Breastfeeding is a relationship and is relational. It is the mother who ultimately breastfeeds and chooses whether or not she will continue or resume if there have been challenges. However, her choices do indeed have an impact on everyone in her inner circle. Breastfeeding does not exist in a vacuum and is very much a family affair.
How many of us sisters, moms, friends, partners, spouses, and even lactation consultants, can identify with this dad? Have you ever been afraid to further encourage or advise a mom who had been beaten down and had weaned because of a negative experience with breastfeeding ?
Have you ever felt like you were walking on egg shells? And what did you do?
July 16, 2009 1 Comment