…Contemplating the Core Elements of a Modern Breastfeeding Lifestyle

I was gifted this book by a mother in my lactation consulting practice.

You would have to be under a rock to miss that the long awaited movie rendition of Elizabeth Gilbert’s moving memoir Eat, Pray, Love opens today in theaters throughout the States.  Her yearlong journey of healing and self-discovery has touched the heart strings of millions of readers the world over.

Some will call it a “chick flick”, but it is really a love story that invites us all to live our lives with authenticity.  Elizabeth’s narrative spoke to the fundamentals of what binds us all together as human beings: food, connection with spirit and love.  Now the vicarious and passion-filled travelogue that was so transformational for her is about to come to life on the big screen.

Although different in form, this is quite similar in substance to the symbolic journey taken by a new mother.  Buffeted by a flood of hormones, her body and psyche will expand while she eats for two and contemplates the new life growing within her body.  During that first year of pregnancy and breastfeeding she will navigate tremendous changes in her self-image and identity.  She moves from morning sickness through the energized passionate appetite for life of the second trimester.  Finally toward the end of the 9′th month, this morphs into a cocooning phase which will extend through early breastfeeding.  She has prepared throughout this entire period to be fully present for meeting and embracing her new love…her beautiful baby.

In the zen stillness of a breastfeeding moment, a baby is nurtured and much love is shared.

Breastfeeding is Eat, Pray, Love.

Every breastfeeding mother has a story.  What is yours?

Breastfeeding Awareness Month 2010 has found its way into the news cycle.

The media and many blogs have taken up the mantle to feature breastfeeding on a regular basis throughout this month.  Sadly, their focus has not been on the theme of  promoting, protecting and supporting it through the Ten Steps.

Controversy turns out  far more sexy content.  Supermodel Gisele Bundchen’s comment that there should be a law that mothers breastfeed for 6 months, like her, most definitely has long legs.

Not to be left out of the mix, Bethenny Frankel, the reality tv personality from Bethenny Gets Married, has now added her two cents to the fray.  She has apparently told US weekly,  “It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.”   A breastfeeding mother herself, she added this politically correct disclaimer.  “Breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it isn’t for everyone.”

Ironically, The Dish Rag blog used these two women as examples of why it takes money and a staff to breastfeed.  How ridiculous.  One of its selling points is that breastfeeding is much less expensive.   Gisele and Bethenny may live in a more luxurious fashion but that has little to do with their being able to breastfeed.   The dish rag author has chosen to ignore the very real cost of not breastfeeding.

A dad in my prenatal breastfeeding class had taken notice of all the buzz around this topic.  He felt that most of the furor was being voiced by those who had challenges with breastfeeding, or those who had chosen not to breastfeed.  He shared that he thought it was just a personal opinion and one most likely taken out of context for effect.  He didn’t really get all the fuss.

I tend to agree with him.  Gisele and Bethenny are both in the public eye.  They are both vocal new mothers who represent aspects of a modern breastfeeding experience.

We need to focus less on the semantics.  Rather than “milking” such a trumped up controversy to get  negative attention, we  need to be facilitating breastfeeding success.  That’s a model that should be copied!

What do you think?

Bethenny Frankel, from the reality show Bethenny Gets Married, rationalizes the supposed luxury of having a baby nurse in the video clip included in yesterday’s post, “Breastfeeding on Reality TV“.

This notion of hiring a baby nurse aka “infant care specialist” so that there will be less work for the mother is not a new one. Indeed, it is viewed in some social circles as a necessity to make the transition to motherhood.  It has been a prevailing message directed toward affluent new parents in New York City throughout my professional life as a registered nurse and lactation consultant.

The article by Marie Brenner in New York Magazine, October 4, 1982 “Less Work for Mother” is a social commentary in and of itself.  It is worth a quick read to see how our world has changed over these past 28 years.

It is interesting to note that now, more than a quarter of a century later, the majority of  baby nurses welcomed into the homes of  New York City mothers are no longer Irish or European, but  hail mainly from the Caribbean or Philippine’s.  They own the niche.  These women are usually not medical professionals.  They bring to each assignment a knowledge base gleaned from their own life experiences as mothers and/or the on-the-job training they received while in the employ of various families over the years.

Lactation consulting has been a stand alone profession for exactly 25 years.  Initially many of the baby nurses were threatened by these breastfeeding experts entering the picture.  LC’s would come in for short visits and rock the boat.  Accustomed to being completely in charge of the care and feeding of their infant charges, this emphasis on breastfeeding made it seem as though the services of the baby nurse were not really needed.  (A sentiment that Bethenny voiced at one point in her interview.)

It is interesting to note how these two specialties have learned to co-exist during my tenure as a lactation consultant.   The growing trend by many LC’s  to encourage frequent pumping and a greater emphasis on measuring volume of intake has been embraced by the baby nurses.  They dutifully assist the mothers with pumping and urge that supplements be given to “satisfy” their babies when they are the least bit unsettled after a breastfeeding session.  On average, one or two direct feedings per day are skipped so that the baby nurse can give a relief bottle and the mothers can sleep.

The net result for these mothers who are pumping and breastfeeding much of the day is a feeling of being a milking machine.   There is little time to really relax and bond with their babies.

There must be a better way to manage this resource, or as Bethenny puts it, the luxury of having a nurse.   What do you think?

To be continued…

The reality show, Bethenny Gets Married, has just ended its first season. I was the first lactation consultant at Lenox Hill Hospital (1988-90) where Bethenny gave birth to her daughter Bryn Hoppy via Cesarean Section on 8 May 2010.

I was most interested in seeing how breastfeeding would be depicted both in the hospital and after Bethenny was discharged home. The pump was introduced in the early days after her C/S; the baby “nurse” Gina was shown following her around with pump parts and pumping seemed to be encouraged as a frequent part of Bethenny’s daily breastfeeding routine.

This is a candid clip of Bethenny talking with her therapist about the luxury of having a baby nurse and her impressions of breastfeeding before and after the birth of her daughter.

Bethenny’s experience has much in common with new mothers everywhere. However, having a baby nurse seems to be more of an urban phenomena.   It is an expensive option which seems luxurious at first glance, but has the potential to alter the long term success of breastfeeding. I will discuss that in more detail in my next post.

For now, I am curious if you also have been encouraged to pump and give bottles from the very beginning of your breastfeeding experience?

If so, has it added to your sense of overwhelm, fatigue or anxiety about your milk supply and/or caused problems with your latch?

I received this postcard as a holiday thank you note from a family that I had helped in the early years of my private lactation consulting practice.  It has hung in my office for two decades.

Sergei Vassilev’s 1988 photograph “In the Maternity Home” captures the stages of profound connection that develop between mothers and their breastfeeding babies.  This group bonding moment is understated, yet quite powerful.

In recent years, there have been many nurse-in’s staged to make political statements.  Mothers have descended upon stores and businesses to protest unfriendly policies toward breastfeeding.   During World Breastfeeding Week celebrations each year there are often large groups that assemble in public places to breastfeed in numbers.  One of my favorites was the group nurse done on the A train in NYC.

Whenever mothers breastfeed it touches my heart.  I believe you cannot help but be inspired by the wonder of breastfeeding when you get an opportunity to witness the kind of very positive and primal energy that flows from my treasured breastfeeding postcard.  It speaks volumes.

What do you think?