Comments on: Beware The Scorn of the Dutiful 'Breastfeeding Malcontents' http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/beware-the-scorn-of-the-dutiful-breastfeeding-malcontents/ ...Contemplating the Core Elements of a Modern Breastfeeding Lifestyle Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:34:39 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 By: Maire Clements RN IBCLC http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/beware-the-scorn-of-the-dutiful-breastfeeding-malcontents/comment-page-1/#comment-172 Maire Clements RN IBCLC Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:34:39 +0000 http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/?p=225#comment-172 @Milly Having read your comment many times I am trying to ascertain whether you read my post and the article which prompted it. Your comment feels full of malcontent. I find your choice of words "fetishization of breastfeeding " "feed the munchkin exclusively boobtastically" and "take your haughtiness out “educating” the frazzled barista at starbucks" quite intriguing. I am left wondering where you fall in the continuum. Are you a modesty bib buying consumer or a frazzled barista? What was/is your experience of breastfeeding? Sadly, the choice to breastfeed does seem to be increasingly correlated with education and social status in the Western world. It is ironic that it is now perceived by you and others as an upper middle-class choice. Not long ago, that was the view of formula feeding by immigrants to our Western shores. In the interest of feminist solidarity, we need to create a positive and supportive breastfeeding culture that supports all mothers and truly fits into a modern lifestyle. @Milly Having read your comment many times I am trying to ascertain whether you read my post and the article which prompted it.

Your comment feels full of malcontent. I find your choice of words “fetishization of breastfeeding ” “feed the munchkin exclusively boobtastically” and “take your haughtiness out “educating” the frazzled barista at starbucks” quite intriguing.

I am left wondering where you fall in the continuum. Are you a modesty bib buying consumer or a frazzled barista? What was/is your experience of breastfeeding?

Sadly, the choice to breastfeed does seem to be increasingly correlated with education and social status in the Western world. It is ironic that it is now perceived by you and others as an upper middle-class choice. Not long ago, that was the view of formula feeding by immigrants to our Western shores.

In the interest of feminist solidarity, we need to create a positive and supportive breastfeeding culture that supports all mothers and truly fits into a modern lifestyle.

]]> By: milly http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/beware-the-scorn-of-the-dutiful-breastfeeding-malcontents/comment-page-1/#comment-167 milly Thu, 30 Jul 2009 11:22:49 +0000 http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/?p=225#comment-167 I think the disgruntled types are in part reacting to the fetishization of breastfeeding by folks who think it is their duty to prescribe what is best for mom and baby. I think these folks are the same ones who came up with those 65 dollar 'modesty' bibs—as if to say "I'm not doing this because it is free, oh heaven's no! I could afford formula if I needed to!" This stuff is not rocket science! Chicks have been doing it for 1000s of years! (And so have wet nurses...) But a lot of women have way too much of their identities invested in their ability to somehow 'perfect' modern motherhood. And, increasingly, breastfeeding is becoming a huge class issue. If you can stay home for 6 months and feed the munchkin exclusively boobtastically, that is superdeluxe. But don't take your haughtiness out "educating" the frazzled barista at starbucks who gave up trying to express expressly on her 15 minute lunchbreak in the bathroom when she gives up in disgust and grabs the formula. A little more feminist solidarity about the difficulty of squeezing expressing in at work would be nice, you know? not everyone has upper middle-class choices. I think the disgruntled types are in part reacting to the fetishization of breastfeeding by folks who think it is their duty to prescribe what is best for mom and baby. I think these folks are the same ones who came up with those 65 dollar ‘modesty’ bibs—as if to say “I’m not doing this because it is free, oh heaven’s no! I could afford formula if I needed to!” This stuff is not rocket science! Chicks have been doing it for 1000s of years! (And so have wet nurses…) But a lot of women have way too much of their identities invested in their ability to somehow ‘perfect’ modern motherhood. And, increasingly, breastfeeding is becoming a huge class issue. If you can stay home for 6 months and feed the munchkin exclusively boobtastically, that is superdeluxe. But don’t take your haughtiness out “educating” the frazzled barista at starbucks who gave up trying to express expressly on her 15 minute lunchbreak in the bathroom when she gives up in disgust and grabs the formula. A little more feminist solidarity about the difficulty of squeezing expressing in at work would be nice, you know? not everyone has upper middle-class choices.

]]> By: pat http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/beware-the-scorn-of-the-dutiful-breastfeeding-malcontents/comment-page-1/#comment-158 pat Sun, 26 Jul 2009 19:09:24 +0000 http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/?p=225#comment-158 Some of these supposed disgruntled insiders are not as much in the in-group as they'd like to believe. Does squeezing out a few drops of breast milk and giving them in a bottle begrudgingly, topping up the rest of the feedings with formula while slowly but surely bringing in a dwindling supply really count as breastfeeding? OTOH I've know some committed lactivists whose babies mainly got formula- at the breast by lactaid. I've also been part of an internet chat group where a woman who works for a baby food company was posing as a legitimate mother- and slagging off another baby food company. Someone from the other baby food company actually joined into the foray and exposed the whole sorry mess. So you actually never know who is behind these posts. When they say " I am a breastfeeding mother- but- and procede to sound off against breastfeeding, one has to wonder. Some of these supposed disgruntled insiders are not as much in the in-group as they’d like to believe. Does squeezing out a few drops of breast milk and giving them in a bottle begrudgingly, topping up the rest of the feedings with formula while slowly but surely bringing in a dwindling supply really count as breastfeeding? OTOH I’ve know some committed lactivists whose babies mainly got formula- at the breast by lactaid.

I’ve also been part of an internet chat group where a woman who works for a baby food company was posing as a legitimate mother- and slagging off another baby food company. Someone from the other baby food company actually joined into the foray and exposed the whole sorry mess. So you actually never know who is behind these posts. When they say ” I am a breastfeeding mother- but- and procede to sound off against breastfeeding, one has to wonder.

]]> By: Maire Clements RN IBCLC http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/beware-the-scorn-of-the-dutiful-breastfeeding-malcontents/comment-page-1/#comment-156 Maire Clements RN IBCLC Sun, 26 Jul 2009 04:37:22 +0000 http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/?p=225#comment-156 @Pat Thanks for your comment. I also wish they would keep their malcontent to themselves. What I find most disturbing is that these women disputing the value of breastfeeding are not avowed formula feeders but rather are disgruntled insiders. They rage on to stir the pot and get attention, but admit to having breastfed out of duty or just in case. They can't have it both ways. @Helen Thanks for your comment and sharing your breastfeeding journey. We do need to create a paradigm where breastfeeding is the norm, not the exception. Whenever there is a rush to judgement and the blame game is played, it does no one any good. Women do need to conduct honest evaluations of what caused their anger or guilt or feelings of being let down by their breastfeeding experiences. As you pointed out, they may even find that they themselves also bear some responsibility for the way it unfolded. @Pat Thanks for your comment. I also wish they would keep their malcontent to themselves. What I find most disturbing is that these women disputing the value of breastfeeding are not avowed formula feeders but rather are disgruntled insiders. They rage on to stir the pot and get attention, but admit to having breastfed out of duty or just in case. They can’t have it both ways.

@Helen Thanks for your comment and sharing your breastfeeding journey. We do need to create a paradigm where breastfeeding is the norm, not the exception.

Whenever there is a rush to judgement and the blame game is played, it does no one any good. Women do need to conduct honest evaluations of what caused their anger or guilt or feelings of being let down by their breastfeeding experiences. As you pointed out, they may even find that they themselves also bear some responsibility for the way it unfolded.

]]> By: Helen http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/beware-the-scorn-of-the-dutiful-breastfeeding-malcontents/comment-page-1/#comment-155 Helen Sun, 26 Jul 2009 02:25:49 +0000 http://consciousbreastfeedingconnections.com/?p=225#comment-155 Breastfeeding is the way I always imagined I would feed my babies. My grandmother breastfed her children and encouraged my mother but as a single parent at 17, she received very little support from health care professionals and did not succeed. She was however, always saddened not to have been able to nurse us. That being said, when I had my first son 8 years ago, I only had one friend who had ever breastfed and I gave birth in a hospital in Germany that put every obstacle to nursing in my way...no skin to skin after delivery, no rooming in, phototherapy treatment for Jaundice, a pacifier...they did try to give him formula but I refused and steadfastly pumped my colostrum, only to be told it was a pathetic amount. Thankfully, after 3 days my milk came in abundance and together my son and I muddled through and enjoyed our breastfeeeding relationship until he self weaned aged 2 1/2. My 2nd son was another matter entirely :-) He was born at home with the care of midwives, I was an active member of LLL and also an outspoken Lactivist. Our breastfeeding relationship was also 21/2 years but we suffered none of the early issues that cause so many women to fail. I strongly feel that society is to blame for women failing to breastfeed at all and for their negative experiences. We are bombarded with the Breast is Best mantra and yet at every turn, healthcare professionals sabotage breastfeeding with their lack of knowledge and adherence to "the numbers" which are anyway based on formula fed babies! We need to offer real, consistent, accurate support to women. We need to see breastfeeding everywhere, in public, in movies, on television,in magazines. Breastfeeding needs to become, once again the biological norm for our species. Women need to point their anger and guilt in the right direction and not at other mothers who promote or succeed at the biological norm. Women who feel anger or guilt need to examine their own reasoning and apportion blame to those who let them down...including themselves! Breastfeeding is the way I always imagined I would feed my babies. My grandmother breastfed her children and encouraged my mother but as a single parent at 17, she received very little support from health care professionals and did not succeed. She was however, always saddened not to have been able to nurse us. That being said, when I had my first son 8 years ago, I only had one friend who had ever breastfed and I gave birth in a hospital in Germany that put every obstacle to nursing in my way…no skin to skin after delivery, no rooming in, phototherapy treatment for Jaundice, a pacifier…they did try to give him formula but I refused and steadfastly pumped my colostrum, only to be told it was a pathetic amount. Thankfully, after 3 days my milk came in abundance and together my son and I muddled through and enjoyed our breastfeeeding relationship until he self weaned aged 2 1/2. My 2nd son was another matter entirely :-) He was born at home with the care of midwives, I was an active member of LLL and also an outspoken Lactivist. Our breastfeeding relationship was also 21/2 years but we suffered none of the early issues that cause so many women to fail.

I strongly feel that society is to blame for women failing to breastfeed at all and for their negative experiences. We are bombarded with the Breast is Best mantra and yet at every turn, healthcare professionals sabotage breastfeeding with their lack of knowledge and adherence to “the numbers” which are anyway based on formula fed babies! We need to offer real, consistent, accurate support to women. We need to see breastfeeding everywhere, in public, in movies, on television,in magazines. Breastfeeding needs to become, once again the biological norm for our species. Women need to point their anger and guilt in the right direction and not at other mothers who promote or succeed at the biological norm. Women who feel anger or guilt need to examine their own reasoning and apportion blame to those who let them down…including themselves!

]]>